26-year-old cat owner refuses to lend her "desperate" older sister $1000 for an emergency because of the way she treated her cat a few weeks prior, shockingly the mom takes the older sister's side: 'She never apologized, not once'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
May 7, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

We didn't realize that we had to say this, but… mistreating cats is not okay. And it doesn't matter who you are for the cat owner. If your girlfriend mistreats your cat, dump the girlfriend. If your friend mistreats your cat and then laughs about it, kick them out of the house. If your boyfriend's sister mistreats your cat and your boyfriend takes his sister's side… get rid of the boyfriend. It really is that simple, and there is no reason to make it more complicated. Red flag. Hard red flag. 

And so, we don't think that the person in this story had any reason to question their decision. Their sister mistreated their cat, dismiss the whole thing as no big deal, did not even think to apologize, and then had the audacity to reach out to them in an hour of need and ask for money. Maybe some would say that we are being too hard for saying that they really don't owe her any money, but we don't think so. Apologize first, then we'd consider helping. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for refusing to lend my sister money after what she did to my cat?"

    My sister found [him] "annoying" and yelled at him every time he meowed
    via Unsplash / Yvon Hoogers

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I (26F) have a cat named Oliver. He's my little companion, a fluffy gray cat that I've had for a few years now. He's been there for me through tough times, and I love him dearly.
    via lewdibabe
  • 03
    My sister (30F) and I have always had a bit of a distant relationship, especially in recent years.
    via lewdibabe
  • 04
    One day, she came over to visit. Right away, she started criticizing me for "letting my cat do whatever he wants" around the apartment.
    via lewdibabe
  • 05
    Oliver loves to curl up on the couch and meow a little before he falls asleep. But my sister found it "annoying" and started yelling at him every time he meowed, even though he wasn't doing anything wrong.
    via lewdibabe
  • 06
    I asked her to calm down and not yell at my cat, but she continued. Eventually, the next day, when I was at work, she decided to "punish" Oliver by locking him in the bathroom for 3 hours because she thought he was "too noisy."
    via lewdibabe
  • 07
    Thankfully, I came back earlier from work and I lost it tbh and immediately let him out, telling her I didn't want her to touch Oliver. She ignored me and left my place after the incident.
    via lewdibabe
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    Cheezburger Image 10501291008
    via Unsplash / Yvon Hoogers

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 09
    A few weeks later, she called me in tears. She had an emergency and needed money to pay an urgent bill. She asked me to lend her $1000 and promised she would pay me back in a month.
    via lewdibabe
  • 10
    Given that she often asked for money for things she hadn't managed well, I was a bit hesitant. But I couldn't stop thinking about what she had done to Oliver.
    via lewdibabe
  • 11
    I gently explained that I didn't feel comfortable lending her money, especially after what she did to my cat.
    via lewdibabe
  • 12
    She responded that she was "desperate" and thought family should support each other during these times. She also tried to guilt- trip me by saying I "didn't understand the pressure" she was under.
    via lewdibabe
  • 13
    My mom got involved, telling me I should help her and that it was just a "small incident" with Oliver. She said I should forgive and not let these little things get in the way our family relationship. of
    via lewdibabe
  • 14
    But I feel like it's more than just a small incident. I think she disrespected my cat, and that behavior should be considered. AITA for refusing to lend money to my sister after what she did to my cat?
    via lewdibabe
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10501293312
    via Unsplash / Yvon Hoogers

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    lewdibabe OP • 16h ago she never apologized, not once. and the worst part is how casually they're trying to brush it off like it wasn't a big deal.
    via lewdibabe

  • Look, you don't owe her anything. That's the simple thing. And people can't expect to be given free favors - $1000 worth of favors - after being unkind. She treated your cat badly, she refused to apologize, she minimized the situation… she doesn't get the money, and that is that. 

  • 17
    Sea_Roof3637 • 16h ago NTA - She hurt your cat for no reason whatsoever, she doesn't deserve your money. If your mum has such an issue she can lend your sister money.
    via Sea_Roof3637
  • 18
    lewdibabe OP • 16h ago I can't just forget what she did to my cat. Something changed at this moment.
    via lewdibabe
  • 19
    44
    via Unsplash / Yvon Hoogers

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We're glad that the rest of the comments agree with us. Sometimes, you should take a step back and help your family anyway, even when they're not the best, but you don't have to. And you especially don't have to when they refuse to acknowledge that they did anything wrong. 

  • 20
    Wadewilson101 • 16h ago NTA, if your mom feels that strongly she can bail out your sister. I wouldn't put up with that behaviour from anyone.
    via Wadewilson101
  • 21
    lewdibabe OP • 16h ago Exactly, I'm not going to tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone, that's definitely a fact.
    via lewdibabe
  • 22
    SweetNataliaxox • 16h ago NTA,you mess with the cat and you mess with the consequences. Trust isn't a vending machine you shake for cash after crossing a hard line.
    via SweetNataliaxox
  • 23
    lewdibabe OP • 16h ago What she did to my cat really crossed a line, and I can't just pretend it didn't happen. I'm standing by my decision.
    via lewdibabe
  • 24
    franmc9 16h ago NTA. Mom can lend her the money. Urgent bill bill I've ignored and now I'm freaking out. =
    via franmc9
  • 25
    lewdibabe OP • 16h ago Exactly! If my mom is so worried, she can lend her the money herself. But this is more than just about money; it's about boundaries and respect...
    via lewdibabe

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